beautiful nightmares

Bondi's calling

2011-09-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

Bondi's calling

Bondi's calling
For its shore
buried
an ocean of memories
sweet and sad
of Excitement
of Hope
Still alive
Far in sight, close at heart
Meaningful than ever

You, I, We
Sitting on the grass
Taking into the waves
Happily feeding the seagulls
with contented hearts

When the sun is going to sleep
We strolled
down the beach
Laughing at the crazy birds
Leaving our gay footmarks
on the sandy Bondi beach

Fish and chip
beer and coke
tough surfers
sexy sheilas
Are memories enough
of our crazy laughs
of the good time
of US.

dedicated to all friends and foes in Australia

The Lake of Innisfree - revisited

2010-12-08T23:23:00.000-08:00

In September 2010, I wrote an entry reflecting my perspective on the poem "the Lake of Innisfree" by the famous writer William Butler Yeats. In the entry, I basically agreed that going to some places we long to go could be a possible way to feel free and be happy and satisfied with our lives. However, today, reflecting back on what I wrote based on the experiences throughout the whole year 2010, I now realise that happiness is really a state of mind regardless of where we are. One could be happy just at home spending time with the beloved ones. Some are happy spending their time alone reading their books on the porches. Some might enjoy their life to the fullest but are swollen inside.

Why do English and French belong to different branches?

2010-11-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

Let's start 5,500 years ago, a group of speakers that lived in Europe (exact location a debated topic, let's say it was the south of Russia, to follow the most mainstream opinion), they are called the Indo-Europeans.

People migrated / moved around / split up....

Current classifications divide the languages of the split by the word they used to describe "one hundred", the centum and satem languages. The satem languages were the ones to the East, that developed into the modern languages such as Polish / Latvian / Urdu / Punjabi / Kurdish / Bosnian, there were many branches of this side of the Indo-European language family. You can see an exact language family tree for the Satem languages here.

The other side of the split were the centum (pronounced 'kentum') languages, which consisted of some further groups of people that again migrated and their language evolved further into more subfamilies such as the Hellenic branch (which is the ancestor of Modern Greek), the Celtic branch, (which is the ancestor of Welsh/Scottish/Irish), the Anatolian / Toccharian branches...

... and finally the ones we are interested in, the Italic branch and the Germanic branch.

So somewhere between 1,000BC and 500BC, there were two groups of speakers, one Italic and one Germanic. The story of Germanic is that people migrated west and one group stayed behind, this is called the East Germanic branch and developed into Gothic (which is now extinct). Now what happened is some speakers went north and we had the North Germanic branch (also called 'Scandinavian', which developed into Old Norse, which then further split into East/West, and modern Norwegian/Faroese and Icelandic belong to West Norse while Swedish and Danish belong to East Norse.

So while all this is going on our speakers didn't stay still... no no they kept moving West into (I'm sure you can guess it !!) the West Germanic branch, which then further split into the German dialects, Dutch, Frisian, Saxon, and (the ancestor of) English.

So the speakers of these languages were all happy playing along around the borders of Germany/Denmark and they hear about the Romans leaving England, so they invade afterwards and bring the language which is to become English, to England (obviously it wasn't called England before they arrived.

So then the language further develops, well the dialects of the Angles, Saxons and the Jutes all spread around, resulting in today a huge massive collection of various dialects united by a standardised common language. This is where England's rich set of accents / dialects is from, these closely related (but not 100% linguistically united) peoples.

So you can see why English is a Germanic language, becomes earlier it was the same language spoken by the same ancestors of the current speakers of Dutch/Frisian/German etc, whose earlier ancestors were the same as the speakers of all Scandinavian languages and even earlier the ancestors of the Gothic people, all the same group of people, just constant evolution / mutation of the language to lead to this way I am typing to you now.

Right, where are we now? Okay, so Italic establishes itself and has a few related dialects with Latin being one of them (the only other major branch I can remember is Umbrian at the moment) but Latin established itself about the same time the Germanic speakers were all one united group.

The story then is complicated, but I'm trying to give the basic story with a lot of generalised details, but what happens is the Latin of the people (Vulgar Latin) develops, and the Romans spread all over Europe, setting up base in Portugal / Spain / Franch / Italy (where they already were), Africa, you name it, the Romans had people there, all speaking this "Latin of the people", which by this time is usually referred to as "Proto-Romance, and it is just the daughters of Latin.

Latin spread across Europe, and just like what happened with the Germanic languages, closed contact especially after the fall of the Roman Empire in about 500AD meant the language of these people can slowly start evolving / developing into further dialects.

And what do you know, these descendants of the Romans start talking differently and before you know it, you have Portuguese, French, Italian, Spanish, Romanian.... the developments of the once united language spoken in Rome (Latin) which was a development out of the Italic branch, which at one time was the same language that the ancestors of Germanic spoke.

So that's why French belongs to the Romance (Italic) language family, and English belongs to the Germanic language family. Just like I posted before here is a link to the family tree for the centum languages.

I found some pictures on a Wikipedia site that might prove more illustrative, as I said before around 1,000BC the picture looked like:

It doesn't state it there but the purple is Germanic, as you see two separate branches / separations of a once-earlier united language.

Then the following picture represents the period immediately after the fall of the Roman Empire (note that the purple Germanics have just landed in the UK).

And that, with the pictures I hope clears up my (quite rushed/low quality) explanation of the origins of both languages.

Now after all this happened, after 1066 the French speaking Normans invaded and English borrowed a lot of words from French, and while Latin was still used as a lingua-franca around Europe all the new terminology (for example, scientific discoveries etc) was taken from Latin.

This is why English is full of cognates with French/Latin, but these are only vocabulary changes, the core grammar, the history, the syntax, it's all (as John said earlier) very closely related to the other Germanic languages.

To someone who looks at pages and pages of the language, the only thing they see are the words, which might lead them to think of a relation, but linguists can see beyond the words, they can see the ordering, they can see the syntax, then see the grammatical functions and only once you view languages in a way that isn't only at the words that are in the lexicon, can you then see how there is nothing really "Romance" about English.

Reference: lingforum

Also please refer to Language map

The Private Life of Pippa Lee

2010-10-07T05:05:00.001-07:00

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee by Rebecca Miller

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee reveals the buried dark desire of every woman. Some might control it well, some might be taken away by it. Reminds me of Michael Jackson song , "Dangerous".

View all my reviews

The Last Song book review

2010-10-07T04:58:00.001-07:00

The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks

A very touching story that reveals the beauty and strong relationship between father and child. Totally a beautiful craftmanship. Worth reading, touchy, another classic work of Nicholas Sparks!

View all my reviews

My Chirstmas Gift

2010-08-20T02:25:00.000-07:00

Christmas Gift Toy & MySpace Layouts at pYzam.com

Why Chillie are hot

2010-08-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

I, quoted in an article by an Australian writer.

To read log on here

Behind the Car Crash

2010-08-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

It hasnt even been a month since I purchased my new car (It's a KIA Forte/ Cerato 1.6 SX ) and somebody has already kissed its ass. The feeling was definitely undescribable, somewhere in between anger and frustration. My friends thought it was so irrelevant of me to not to charge the person who hit me from the back. However for me, I did not have the feeling to charge him since he was too old and so does his car which came with no insurance. I think it wasn't fair to just charge him and letting go of the guy who stopped his car suddenly to take a turn without no prior sign at all (and not to mention he just left the scene!) Despite this scene, what I want to share in this blog is my feeling. Despite anger and frustration I am proud of myself because I was able to forgive the old man out of humanity. It is true when people say.."humanity is the essence of human being", it is indeed in the heart of every person in the whole world regardless of who we are. Peace!

Untitled, just some monologue

2010-06-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

It is true when some people say we never really realise how much we love our beloved ones and how much they matter to us until the moments when we realise we might lose them. On the last night Jeremy was with me at my parents, he expressed his thoughts to me that he didnt think I love him enough. Just when he finished uttering that, I could feel my heart torn into pieces like there was a spear that just went through it. I was so scared.No, I was terrified! My body stopped functioning for that mere second and I could think of nothing other than what would my life be without him in it anymore.I tried hard not to cry. All the moments that we had spent together all this time came flashing back and it kills me to realise that if I ever lose him, Im not only going to lose my boyfriend, but worst of all my best friend. I never have really shared as much as I do with him with anybody else. I never feel this free to fully express myself without feeling stupid and scared of being judged. I am me as long as I am with him and I hope he will be himself as long as he is with me.

Discovering Indonesia- Part 1 jakarta

2010-06-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

Indonesia is a country riches with many exotic places which can easily make your vacation an unforgettable and meaningful one. A trip to Indonesia would not be complete without a visit to its capital city, Jakarta which is the largest city in the country. With its population of 8, 490 000, Jakarta is indeed a very busy and crowded city. I had had the opportunity to visit Jakarta in June 2010 with my boyfriend, Jeremy. We arrived at Soekarno Hatta International Airport, Jakarta at about 5.30pm and got passed the immigration an hour later. It was not difficult to find a cab service from the airport to get to the intended destination. However, taking bus is not a practical option since it is too crowded and takes too long to reach its destination. For the whole time while we were in Jakarta, we stayed at Jeremy's cousin's house. It was in a suburban area called Cilandak which was about half an hour from the city during the time when there is not much traffic. A very beautiful house with a swimming pool which was rented at about 400usd per month. Traffics in Jakarta are congested most of the time and makes it difficult to drive. Salute to all drivers in Jakarta, they must be really skillful to be able to drive in such a busy and congested traffic! With so many motorbikes on the road, it is impossible to visit places in the city by walking. Thus, most of the time during our visit, we decided to take a cab to travel to places. We spent 3 days 2 nights in Jakarta and visited nothing much besides malls. Not to mention that there are quite a number of big sized malls in the city. The ones that we visited were Cilandak Town Square Mall which was only 10mins walk from Jeremy's cousin house and the Grand Indonesia mall. On the last day of our trip, we left Jakarta for Bali.

2010-06-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is specially for my boyfriend. I am sorry that you all have to read this. But if he reads this, I just want him to know that I love him very much and that he has been a great boy friend and best friend to me all along. I dated some guys before I met him, but with him I could tell that he is a real man, not a boy like most of the ones i used to date. He cares for me and I want to do my best to do the same for him. I just can't imagine life without him. Je'taime mon singe.

The Spices of Life

2010-06-21T19:12:00.000-07:00

The world is round, so does our journey. we always find ourselves coming back to the same spot where we started it.

Some people are just too busy looking for the meaning of life yet forget to live it.

Most of us are liars. We all lie to ourselves. We often believe and admit the truth to ourselves. In reality, we often just selectively believe what we WANT to believe instead of what we SHOULD believe. For example, how many of us would honestly admit that we are doing our jobs because we really love it and not because we are forced to do so just to earn some money out of it? How many of us really date our partner because we love him or her and not because we are just too scared to be alone?

Just some thoughts for the day, enjoy them!

The irony of life

2010-04-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

Life is never static. Everything about life changes in every second with our without our realisation or will. People change. Best friends drifted apart. Enemies become friends. Life is such an irony. But the greatest gift in life is the moment you met a special someone who ready to share his or her life with you.

Adaption in life

2010-02-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

Life is all about adapting ourselves to suit our environment. Whether we believe it or not, we always adapt ourselves in order to maintain our survival within a society or an environment. Sometimes adaptation can be a very reflexive process whereby we do not even realise that we are going through the process at all. Sometimes it could also be painful. Like adapting ourselves to live a society that uphold values that contradict with the ones in our own society. But I think, the most important thing everyone needs to do is to compromise and try to respect the cultures of the society that they are living in. Its rather be safe than sorry.

Fat, Can You Fight It?

2010-01-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

My sister just screamed at me because I called her fat and refused to eat the lunch that I bought her today. I just didnt see why she was so angry because she IS fat, at least for someone her height. But anyway, is it really important if u are skinny or fat? It doesnt make you less human, does it? Well, my boyfriend is a gym freak, I wonder if he is gonna walk out on me one day if I suddenly become fat (not that I want to be fat). lol. Well he may be, cos most of the world population do not want to have a fat partner. But how can we define fat? Does fat means obese? Or does fatness has a scale, that may goes from skinny-to chubby/plum-to fat-to obese?

I did some readings on the subject and I found out that fat is directly controlled by a hormone called Ghrelin that relates to hunger perception. The amount of Ghrelin hormone in a person body relates to the person feeling of hunger. The more Ghrelin present, the hungrier one feels. It also partially decreases the utilization of existing fatty tissue. Thus, in order to lose weight, ones has to control the release of Ghrelin hormone in their body to the minimum to avoid frequent hunger and to increase the use of existing fat tissue in their bodies . However, is it possible for a person to do so? The answer is YES.

Its true that the amount of hormone present in a person body is hereditical which means one person can have bigger amount of the hormone in his or her body compared to somebody else.Even though obesity is hereditary, it is not inevitable that one person with more obese genes will become obese. There are chances for the person to have an ideal body weight provided that she or he follows a strict healty lifestyle which includes taking healthy and well-balanced diet and exercising regularly. Human body needs a certain amount of energy which is termed as calories each day. Excess energy is stored as fat. Exercise functions to remove the excessive fat in one's body and contributes to weight loss. The more active you are, the more calories your body needs.By eating less than your body needs and exercising more, you force your body to use its existing fat stores for energy. So, if you are fat, its not the end of the world till you start a strict work-out plan and living on healthy diet.

Lois

2010-01-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

C'est Lois. Elle est mignonne et intelligente. =) She looks good in the dress Jammy and I picked up for her christmas gift.

My first french lesson - Pronom (pronoun)

2010-01-22T02:53:00.000-08:00

Pronom (Pronoun)

i= je

he/she = il/ elle

you=il

we=nous

they=ils/elles

you=vous (plural)

A sentence = pronom + verb + complement/adjectif

Vebre etre (Verb to be)

present tense

je suis= i am

tu es= you are (one person)

il/ elle est= he is/ she is

nous sommes= we are

vous etes=you all are (plural, more than 1 person)

ils/ elles sont= they are (male)/ they are (female)

Examples :-

i) beau/belle (good looking/beautiful/pretty)

je suis belle (i am good looking (for female))/ je suis beau (i am good looking (for male))

tu es belle (you are good looking (for female))/ tu es beau (you are good looking (for male))

il est beau (he is good looking)

elle est belle (she is good looking)

nous sommes beaux (have to add -x to indicate plurality for words ending in -au) (We are good looking (for male)).

nous sommes belles (have to add -s to indicate plurality) (we are good looking (for female)).

Vous etes beaux (You all are good looking (for male))

Vous etes belles ( You all are good looking (for female))

Elle sont belles ( they are good looking (for female))

Ils sont beaux (they are good looking (for male))

Journey

2010-01-20T07:31:00.000-08:00

A journey is always a brilliant teacher. It is the best way we can learn about new things and take on a new perspective on life and ourselves. It lets us feel the tangible experiences and encounter the intangible ones in a meaningful way. It reminds us about the value of living. It makes us see things that are essences to our survival, like the values that we normally take for granted. It brings us close to nature and humanity, makes us discover ourselves and what we mean to the world. It makes us strong and not to give up in life.

merci l'amour

2010-01-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Thank you
for coming into my life
for healing my soul
for making me see a new perspective on life
giving me a new purpose of living

Thoughts on Love

2010-01-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

They do not love that do not show their love.

The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

-- William Shakespeare

God of The Small Things

2010-01-18T01:09:00.000-08:00

This is one of my all time favourite. It explores many issues at the same time, exposing the wonder of how small things in someone's life can add up and affect the person life badly and in an unexpected way. One of the main issues that become the back bone of the story is discrimination based on social class or hierachy. It narrates how dreadful and painful life is for a person who is born in the low social class or caste. The story is set to be in Ayemenem, Kerala India. It is mainly being organised around many events that occur in a two-egg twins, Esthappen and Rahel's life and in the life of people who are closely related to them like their family and friends. Some misfortunes which are related to death, love not returned and love between caste have been exquisitely explored in an amusing and tragic ways to add spices and give life to the story. Enough said, the story is worth reading!!

2010-01-15T07:06:00.000-08:00

I want to escape
To retreat into a new dimension
I want to run
and fly
And enter the world
beyond imagination
beyond thought

The world
Full of spirit
Full of force
To reach the unthinkable
To experience the impossibles
To fathom the future
Where there is no chagrin
Where the future is much more discernible
As clear as water

l'amour

2010-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend suggested that I write about love. But I think he forgot to tell me in what genre he think i should write about it. So I figured the genre out myself. Well, I was thinking of fiction because I assumed it was lighter, required less thinking than writing an expository. However, it was not slightly true at all. Fiction could be as complex as expository when the writer is unclear about the real or main message that meant to be conveyed to the readers, the message that will become the backbone of the story and put the live into it. Thus, in order to determine that real or main message,the writer needs to possess full and deep comprehension of the subject/ concept. So, in my case, if I were to write a fiction about love, I will have to grasp a good comprehension of what love is, which is quite a challenging task as I honestly think the process of discovering love requires more time than most people think.

Love is really difficult to understand. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really understand what love is. But to claim that I never understand it at all would do myself no justice since I had experienced it at some points in my life. Sometimes I think of love as a spiritual thing. Something pure.Something impulsive. Where the only agent that can react to it is heart (human and animal's heart). Sometimes I think of love as one of the reasons why human race was gifted with the innate ability to communicate with each other. Love is when human clings to each other to form a perfect harmony with the nature. Like a child clings to its mother until it is old enough to survive, and the mother clings to the child until she is positive that the child is capable to look after itself. Thinking of all these, one thing that I come to learn and conclude is that no matter how different our perception of love is, it always makes us feel good and appreciated, maybe a little bit worried sometimes for we afraid it might slip away at some point in our live. But with love, we come to appreciate live more and to live in harmony with our beloved and our souls. It gives a meaningful purpose for living. Love is a perennial beauty that lives within every soul. It is a gift from god to all kinds.

The quest for Mary Magdalene in “The Expected One” by Kathleen McGowan

2009-12-05T01:12:00.000-08:00

“ History is not what happened. It is what is written.” McGowan explores the issue of the controversial real relationship between Mary Magdalene and Jesus and her real position in Christendom. She suggests that Mary Magdalene is not accurately and fairly potrayed in most of the Gospels. The author also indicates that the depictions of some other important women such as Salome in the gospels are also inaccurate and unjust. In the quest of truth about Mary Magdalene, the author has spent almost half of her life time traveling to capture and explore evidences related to her. Most of her findings however cannot be provided as academic references in the book to protect the security of the persons involved and also because most of the data are acquired orally from some trusted sources who believe in Mary Magdalene as well as claimed to know the real truths about her which are passed down from one generation to the next. One of the author’s findings which interests me is the documentary of the Cathars people. Their settlement is in Rennes-le-cheteau, in Languedoc region in France. The region is well famous for the tomb of a famous French artist named Pinus who is believed to be a member of a secret society that is formed to protect a document written by Mary Magdalene which depicts the events of crucifixion and about the disciples from her perspective. Another sacred document that is believed to be possessed by Mary Magdalene is the Book of Love which is written by Jesus Himself. There are also some who believe that the tomb hides a treasure from the Temple of Jurusalem. The Cathars are believed to descent from the Mary Magdalene and Jesus bloodline, from their first daughter Sarah-Tamar. The book of Love is protected by Mary Magdalene using some kind of alchemy to hide it from the dangerous parties until the time when an expected one has arrived. Some of the expected ones who are the bloodlines include some famous people in the history including Joan de Arc and Mary Antoinette. Other bloodlines include famous medieval artists such as Sandro Boticelli. However, the iconography of Mary Magdalene in arts and paintings deems its popularity in all time. Not only she is the famous subject among the medieval artists like Boticelli and Caraviaggo, but also among the modern Europeans such as Salvador Dali and Jean Cocteau. Mc Gowan suggests that “ one common thread runs through the vastly different portrayals of Mary Magdalene; she is depicted over and over again with the same props: a skull, said to represent penance ( repentance for John the Baptizer) , a book, believed to symbolize the Gospels, and the abalaster jar she used to anoint Jesus. Always she wears red- a tradition that reaches back into history (but is mistakenly believed to depict her as a harlot)”.

Mc Gowan also states that many excerpts from the Gospel has been used against her throughout centuries. This is merely caused by the false interpretations of the Gospels by some Christians who resent the truth about her as well as from some fail to see clearly beyond the printed words. One of the excerpts is “Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.” (Mark Gospel 16:9). As explained by the author, the single line has led to extreme claims about Mary’s mental state, including books dedicated to the idea that she was either possessed by demons or mentally ill. However, the Arques’s (a place in France, near Le Rennes le Chateau) perspective that Jesus has healed Mary after she has been poisoned by a lethal concoction known as The Poison of Seven Devils , which is believed to originate from Asia, definitely can provide us with a more clear interpretation of the line.

Alongside with all the interesting and surprising findings by the author in the book, one thing I learnt is that faith cannot be argued academically because there are some things in faith that we cannot apply our logic to them such as in Pontius Pilate case when he tried to reason Jesus’s answers with his Greek logic. However, I believe that all of the religions existed in this world preach humanity and love as their core. Thus, no matter what color and creek we are and what belief we follow, we all should be united by love. For example, religions such as Islam and Christian, both preach their believers to love all human beings regardless of their color and belief. Thus, the moment we start fighting with each other is the moment we lose our sense of humanity and actually deviate ourselves from our religion with not even a fickle realization of it.

Tidal love

2009-11-21T06:09:00.000-08:00

If there's any one person who has had experienced the worst in love, I'm pretty sure I am one of them. Throughout my life, I have taken a number of views on love. I had ventured into a lot of things just to try to understand love. But this, until I found out that it is almost impossible for a person to fully understand love as its complexity is beyond our predictability. Earlier, I used to think of a relationship as something that can be consistently and consciously controlled to work smoothly in the direction that we favour. However, experiences have taught me that it does not always work that way. There's always some bumpy roads along the way. As for now, I have come to understand of love and relationship as something that is so close to nature, in which it closely reflects the nature itself. Love is like tides. It always change unpredictably, in which sometimes without prior sign nor warning. This is equally the same to a relationship. Sometimes it feels like to be in a successful relationship is as difficult as sailing a boat in the ocean. To get it moving in the right direction, it involves many uncontrollable factors which can alter directly the direction of the wind and indirectly the direction to where the boat is moving. In most cases, a sailor has to wait for the wind to blow to get the boat moving, but the wind does not necessarily all the time blow in favour to the sailor's wish.In such cases, the only thing the sailor can do is to keep waiting patiently hoping that the temperature will change so that the wind will blow and move the boat into its prefered destination. Similarly, in a relationship, especially a long relationship, we often take some time off just to relax our mind after an occurence of a conflict in the relationship. Some of us even used the time to cool themselves as well as to reflect upon themselves. I always feel that reflecting upon our own self is a vital necessity in a relationship. It helps us to become concious of our own flaws in the relationship and determine the best strategies to tackle the problems that arise. Also, at some points in everyone's relationship, there will be a time where we are obliged to make an important decision regarding the relationship, our partner as well as ourselves. This is like when the sailor decide to row the boat closer to the shore while waiting for the wind to come back, instead of just merely waiting for the winds to blow again. Imagine if the sailor do not row and the wind is never back, he will never make it to the shore. Similarly, in a relationship, when the time come for a decision to be made, it has to be made regardless and running away from the problem is certainly not going to help. The only thing it will help is to make the problem becomes worst. Thus, it is more worth to take the challenge and fight the problem in order to save the relationship.

P.S. A thousand thanks to my mon cheri Jeremy for the efforts in looking for the picture as well as the title for this post.Your love will always light my inspiration.bisous.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

2009-10-19T21:53:00.000-07:00

Click here for an elaborated explanation of the novel

"A Thousand Splendid Suns" is a second novel by Khalled Hosseini, the author the international best seller which has been made into a movie, "The Kite Runner". It mainly discusses the issue of vast discrimination against women in Afghanistan. I sobbed and had t stop reading to calm myself down at least 3 times while I was reading the novel. It really touches my heart to learn how bad is women are being discriminated in Afghanistan.They were not granted access to education, were forced to marry a stranger at a certain age (in which in most circumstances the suitor is way older than the girls; for example Mariam, one of the main characters in the novel is forced to marry a man who is 20 years older than her, old enough to be her father!) and were denied from getting proper health care service in the hospital. If I were to live there, I probably could just survive only 5 minutes of my life there! The two main characters in the novel, Mariam and Laila are just two examples of Afghan women who have to suffer from the consequences of war and tradition (which is upheld by religious extremists in the country). The story really reminds me of how I should be thankful that even though there are many things in my life that upset me (for example for having to be far away from my friends and losing freedom), these things or circumstances are not comparable at all as to what Laila and Mariam are going through in their life; being forced to marry a stranger who is 20 years older than them, suffer from physical abuse from their husband (they share a husband, Mariam is the first wife and Laila is the second wife. Laila married Mariam's husband after she lost both of her parents from war and because he was being tricked by Mariam's husband, Rasheed), being beaten from walking on the street without a "Mahrim" (husband) just to get to see her 7 year-old daughter at the orphanage and having to see their parents tragic deaths at an early age( Mariam's mother commited suicide by hanging herself from a tree; Laila's parents died from war, Laila saw her father's headless torso flying in the air from their bombed house).

Pressies

2009-10-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

These are the presents that I received from my little boys, I almost went into tears when they gave me all these. I had no idea how much they really loved me before.

I did a farewell party for them on my last day. I brought them some doughnouts and a cake. Glad they enjoyed the party! I so miss them all now!!

These are the pictures from the party!

(From the left: Thibaan, Mitvindra, Sureswaran, Danish, New Jone, Sanjivan Gabriel, Harinder, Jacky Chan)

(Sanjivan, Oliver Chiam, Deva, Weleon, Shahrul, Harinder)

(My boys with the hamper they gave me: Harinder, Deva, Sanjivan)

( Sureswaran, Rajarajeswaran)

(Ahmad Shafiq, Harinder, Sanjivan, Shahrul)

This is the party from another class I taught form 1Tekun (1T).

(Chunkit, Asadullah, Fahim, Sanjeev Raj)

(Syafawie, Basilius, Sureshkumar, Syamil, Naim, Alimi)

Reading like a Vampire

2009-10-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

I started to read a lot like a Vampire (like a vampire cause I read from midnight till dawn , ah well at least like Edward Cullen, haha!). I finally finished reading The Other Queen by Philippa Gregory. A really interesting story about the raising plots mainly in Northern parts of England which are aimed to dethroned Queen Elizabeth and put Queen Mary of Scots on the throne instead. It ventures the possibility of how men can easily be deceived by good looks or beauty. Yesterday I went shopping and book 4 books, all of them are literature piece, one of them is a great work of the legendary Jack Keruoac, On The Road which I am so excited to start reading! Im guessing this one would be similar in its theme with one of the Aussie writer Wayne Grogan Vale Byron Bay. I got 2 books of the writers J.D. Salinger and Ken Kessey free with my purchase of Jack Keruoac! And another book I bought is The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I also borrowed some books from the library, one of them is my favourite novel the Wuthering Heigh by Emily Bronte. Hopefully I can finish reading them all during the weekend.

My cuz

2009-10-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

This is my cuz, he's my childhood crush. hehe. And I think he looks a little bit like my friend, James's little brother, Graeme.

Graeme is the one in the middle, the one in grey-ish shirt.

Last Day in School

2009-10-03T03:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my last day teaching the boys at the school. And today here I am, in my little room, sobbing over the facts that I might not see some of them anymore at all. I have grown myself used to them, I remember the name of each of them, I even remember some of the students by their full names.I received some pressies from some students, even from the class that I did not taught! I am happy to know that at least some of them if not all really appreciate and love me the way I love them.

The Lake of Innisfree

2009-09-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

I taught my classes a poem by Yeats, an Irish Laurette "The Lake Isle of Innesfree" today. Yeats spend most of his life in Ireland which he called home. Some scholars suggest that Innisfree is a place near Sligo, Ireland where he has spent most of his childhood whereas others say that Innisfree does not really exists and just exists in his mind. Whatever the theories are, we know that Innisfree is one place that he is longing to go in his life, the place where he finds his peace. To bring the poem closer to our personal life, we can say that Innisfree is a place where we really longsto go to, a place where we will find a peace of mind. Yeats Innisfree is in Ireland. My Innisfree is in Sydney (Nowra, Narrabeen , Manly, Mosman- i love North Sydney and the Northern Beaches). Where's your Innisfree? However, happiness is really a state of mind which does not always depend on where you are. What do you think about that?

The Lake Isle of Innisfree

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade. And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a-glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear the water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

William Butler Yeats, 1892

I gotta feeling that today's gonna be a good day!

2009-09-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

Im so happyyyy today.This is maybe the happiest day of the week for me. I went on facebook, not expecting any special message. Unexpectedly, he sent me one, and it is soooo sweet!One that says he wished i was online as it has been a while.(I speculate he's missed me! He never send me any message before!) I am so happy that I practically feel my body is so light as if I am floating above the ground! hehehe. Not to mention, Ive been smiling the whole time ever since I read it. And he left a sweet compliment to one of my picture on facebook too. Im so flattered!! hehe. Thats what he wrote, hehe.

The Queen's Fool

2009-09-26T05:02:00.000-07:00

I have been in bed the whole week this weak, suffered from a bad migraine. I managed to finish reading The Queen's Fool. It is about Hannah Green, a queen fool. I cried three times while reading the story. One of them is when Hannah learnt the fact about his husband (who is her bethroted)cheated on her and had sex with a Gentile and had a boy child with her. How faithless men can be! I can relate with Hannah Green, we have many things in common. And I can relate Robet Dudley, another character in the story ( a big name's in the Tudor court history), to Brendan. He has to read the novel to know why, which I doubt he will.

Walking Shadow

2009-09-22T03:55:00.000-07:00

I saw him last night
again
existed so close to me
At the corner of my bedroom
I remembered
Waking up from the bed
walking towards him
try to reach his arms
for my heart longed to feel
the warmth of his skin again
But he seemed so unreachable
The closer I tried to get
He became more distanced
and finally dissapeared
And I woke up from my dream
With crystal drops on my eyes
to realize that it was just a dream
another beautiful nightmare
that haunted my unlived life.

Composed on 22th September 2009. Title: untitled...... any suggestion??

Down The Memory Lane.. my bestie acting retard!

2009-09-22T00:15:00.000-07:00

I was looking at my old pictures and I found this one of Brendan and me! More accurately...Brendan playing retard...wonder if he did that with his gf, LoL!
This one is a better pic of him!

P.S. Sorry Bren for the publicly displaying your pictures! hehe =D

coloring

2009-09-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

This is painted by my sister.I coloured it though! hehe.

My sketch

2009-09-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

I was so bored, so I attempted sketching. It was supposed to be a beautiful lady, but ended up looked like a transgender person!lol.

Turning Bookworm

2009-09-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've finally finished reading Rebecca and The Last Time They Met by American writer Anita Shreve. Now I'm reading a novel by Australian writer, Wayne Grogan " Vale Byron Bay". After finishing with this one, I still have 4 books to read, 3 of them from my favourite writer, Philippa Gregory. She English.....a good writer and a broadcaster. One of her novels The Other Boleyn Girl was made into a film in 2007 (i think). I have read The Other Boleyn Girl, its beautifully written like her other literary works. The Last The novel Ive read, Time They Met by Anita Shreve is a tragic love story, its about 2 lovers who were seperated and then met again after both of them have already married to someone else and there was no chance for reunion. Tragic, but in reality life doesnt always have a happy ending.Hopefully they would be some happy endings for me in the end.

Movies spree!!

2009-09-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

Movies Ive seen so far in this week:-
i) The Final Destination
ii) District 9 (This one is cool....alien - human relationship, discussing disrimination against alien issues. Really a satyr!)
iii) The Ugly Truth ( was so happy to see this one, have waited for it to come out since June! Gerard Butler is so HOWT!)
iv) Orphan ( the most psycho neurotic movie ever!yuckk!!)
v)Seeing next: Gamer (Love Gerard Butler!)

Fickle affection

2009-09-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

This one is dedicated to my best mates Adrian and Brendan as I know you would like this one (you would love the fact that Ive being dumped again, and this time by a high school kid)

I've being dumped by a high school kid!A few weeks ago he liked me so much (in term of student-teacher relationship that Im referring to!No romance involves!!!!!), then today when I saw him again at school, he didn't like me at all anymore!! Being dumped by a kid feels so......humiliating! and... funny in some ways! He's quite cute though......big prospect for him in the future i would say! Enough said, affection is always fickle...even among the kids. Good luck for the sweet boy though!

Nicknames

2009-09-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

I have being called ......

i. Shorty : by David Harper ( bubu)
ii. Ring Ring: by bubu
iii. Fruity : by Caroline
iv. Sweaty: by Jacob
v. Skippy: by Jacob
vi. SweatyShirtySkippy: by Jacob!!!
vii. Mon singe (Jeremy)

Anybody wants to add to the list??

Movie Plans

2009-09-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

I went to see District 9 last night.It was such a cool movie though i felt it was a bit slow at the beginning. Wikus reminds me of one of the guys I used to know at uni, Alexandra Poupelard. He's a Frenchie, they both look alike...almost identical. lol. Im really looking forward to go watch some romcoms which Ive been planning to watch but just havent happened yet, " The Proposal" and "The Ugly Truth". I also would like to watch "Gamer", another one of Gerard Butler (He's Irish-I so like him!). These three are in my must-see lists! I watch a lot of movies when I am depressed! The days at the school have been so boring. One of my students whom I quite close to refused to talk to me anymore because he didnt think I am up to his expectation. Aghh its so hard to please everyone! Hopefully things will improve soon. I really hate tense situations. Loves it when everyone is in peace and we all could live in the moments =D. Till then, xoxo.

Dull weekend and Rebecca

2009-09-08T04:15:00.000-07:00

I hate the fact that my weekend was dull and rather boring unlike my normal ones in Sydney. I miss going out to the beaches, going for a shopping spree on Pitt st. if not Chatswood Mall and going fishing. I also hate the fact that I was not spending my weekends with my bestfriends anymore. This weekend, I was just home all day reading a novel by Daphne duMurrier, a classic one entitled "Rebecca". The novel excites me. Probably because I could relate to the character in it. The novel is about a young girl who married a rich widow aged 42.The girl, Caroline's lack of self confidence and her feeling of inferiority in comparison to the husband's ex wife who was described to be "of advantage of a good breeding,beauty and brain" really relates to me in some ways. I kinda know Caroline's true feeling and what she was going through. Its true that girls like to compare themselves to their competitors and try to win but at the same time feeling insecure and inferior about themselves. I used to go through this a few times in my life. I used to feel so insecure about myself and always feel that I was not pretty enough for my bf. It is something that I cant help myself from doing! However, the most important value I think I learnt from the novel is the significance of being sensible and having a brain than just mere beauty. This is in fact supported in other works of literature like ones of Jane Austen, that men always think girls who are sensible and independent are more attractive to them.Even in my real life experiences I have learnt that men prefer girls who have a firm and unique opinion over something. And as Bren suggested that I should set a goal to work to in my current life to help me get over the past, I think I have decided to read more and become smarter so that I will be more of value to guys and at the same time increase my knowledge about the global world. Oh yeh, I think I should call Adrian today too! Its been a while since he called me last. I should maintain the courtesy by calling him this time! Plus I will always feel more motivated about my life after talking to him. He has a special power to motivate people really! But people motivates people in different ways.Adrian always say something good and positive and that what motivates me.My other friend, Brendan always criticize me, practically all the time!!! (P.s. didnt u Bren???) But it was not negative though, as they were positive criticism that I need to wake me up from my silly thoughts and dreams. He always give me a reality check! Im running out of idea of what to write, maybe I shall just as well stop here! Bye, I love you (whoever reading this)!!!

An MMS from Adrian, just saving it here so I wont lose it!!

2009-09-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

Date: Mon Sep 7 09:45:14 2009
From: +61405404014
Subject: Weekend

Hey there. My weekend was ok actually. Went to a couple of school fairs - the pic is the excellent stage band at my old highschool - on Sat. On Sun celebrated fathers' day and my big sister's birthday and saw a cool 'ancient alien astronaut' documentary. How was yours?

I miss Adrian

2009-09-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

I was feeling so low the whole day today. Felt like the time was not moving at all. Im emotionally unstable. Im missing all my best friends. Especially Julie and Adrian. Julie has a boyfriend recently, she must be busy. Adrians single as usual and but he is busy practising his dance moves for some performance. He's my best friend, the person I would turn to about everything in life.I miss him so much. Its been a while now. =(

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, oi, oi!!!

2009-09-04T03:22:00.000-07:00

Read an online article about the top 10 world's most happiest cities. Sydney is ranked as the second most happiest city in the world after Rio De Jenairo and Melbourne comes fourth. Owh How I miss Darling Harbour and its scenes and all my best mates! How I miss my old job (it feels like heaven, people are so cool and i dont have to deal with kids which means no headaches!)! How I miss vegemite!How i miss Sportsgirl and Diva!How I miss my old hair! How I miss everything about Sydney!!!!!!!I was in Perth in May 2009, the vibe is different than Sydney even though it is in the same country, in OZ. I went to Melbourne for work in 2008 (a sponsored trip! its heaven! I love my old job!!!) for a week and Ive already felt homesick and wanna get back home (Sydney is home!). I kinda have figured out I cant really live else where than Sydney. It sucks that I have to live in Malaysia now. So my future plan would be as soon as I finish my work contract, I am so going back to Sydney for good.

Beautiful Nightmares

2009-09-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

( Double Bay, Sydney 2008 with ex, David Harper)

Sweet Dreams or Beautiful Nightmares?

Every night I rush to my bed
with hopes that maybe I’ll get a chance to see you
When I close my eyes
I’m goin outta my head
Lost in a fairytale
Can you hold my hands and be my guide

Clouds filled with stars cover your skies
and I hope it rains
You’re the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
My guilty pleasure I ain't goin no where
Baby long as you're here
I’ll be floatin on air cause you're my
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you

I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts
Boy you my temporary high
I wish that when I wake up you’re there
So wrap your arms around me for real
and tell me you’ll stay by side

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
and I hope it rains
You’re the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
My guilty pleasure I ain't goin no where
Baby long as you're here
I’ll be floatin on air cause you're my
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you

Tattoo your name across my heart
So it will remain
Not even death could make us part
What kind of dream is this?

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare

The man who can't be moved

2009-08-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

(Model: Shane O'toole, just because he's Irish and also a dickhead! Right: May 2009, Bintang Walk, Kuala Lumpur)

Song: The man who can't be moved

Some people try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you
Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go
Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving
People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cuase you'll know it's just for you
Im the man who can't be moved

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

This is one of my favourites, the lyric is just beautiful....... a song by The Script, an Irish band. Probably one of the case of love at the first sight. Some people might not believed in love at the first sight. But I have experienced some, the feeling was beautiful but in my case it never did bring me anywhere. For example, the one I had with Shane. They are beautiful....but only for a little while. Had so much fun with Shane at the beginning till it turned to be crappy towards the end and I smashed my phone for him, not to mention!!However some are really inspiring, like the one with Jacob. Love is indeed an evil angel as Shakespeare said! Till then, xoxo.

All the single ladies, put your hands up!!!

2009-08-29T04:14:00.000-07:00

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love, well, that's just fabulous ( Carrie, Sex and the City).

I choose to agree with Carrie. I have learnt from experiences that self-esteem and confidence are the most significant ingredients to attract a man. You got to love and trust yourself first before expecting others to trust you. Besides, as love and relationships come and go in the way that we never expected, its always good to just to rely on ourselves instead of men.Single life sometimes could be more fun and exciting then you ever expected it to be!For example, would you whistle some hot guys on the beach with your girlfriends if you have a boyfriend? And not to mention, you will have heaps of opportunities to get to know more people while you are single since you have most of the time to yourself. Like I met my new friend, Jacob who really inspired me to write and to express myself (we mostly spent time talking about literature and his childhood experience), Nicola, who is always sweet and supportive and Irene, who is like a mother to me. Also, you have an ample of time to do more inspirational and productive things in your life like reading and writing which you probably do not have much time to do so before. . And for guys, if you are reading this, it works just the same for you too!!! So everyone,keep your chin up and be happy, being single does not always mean it's the end of the world! =) Till then, xoxo.

(jacob corner in white shirt)

Thoughts on love

2009-08-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

(Valentine 2008: Bouquet for David)

They do not love that do not show their love.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.
-- William Shakespeare

This is so true. The course of love indeed never did run smooth. One minute you are so much in love with a person and feels so much connected to the person, the next minute you realize you just do not know the person anymore at all. Love is a familiar. Sometimes you find yourself doing anything just to fall in love. Some travel the world just to be with the person they love. And I am one of them. Some just do not realise that they are in love.

Love is a devil. It makes you do things you never imagine yourself doing for love.Like I rushed from Paramatta to Turramurra at 11 p.m after a call just to be with my ex when he needed me the most (He was ill!).You could be in love with a person who is not at all your type of guy, but who cares, love is too sweet to let go! But one thing for sure is that even though love might comes and goes as swiftly as the wind, but it never leave you nothing. There will always be one sweet thing in every love story you ever have in your life. Some loves resolves into friendships.A clear example is Brendan and me There is a lesson learnt from every love story in one's life. And the most greatest thing one could do for someone they love is to sacrifice and to learn to let go. Let it go and if it comes back, it will be yours forever and if not, its not worth chasing. xoxo.

More hugs= less stress

2009-08-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is just something I read that I want to share. Whether you believe it or not, intimate acts such as hugging and kissing can lower the level of stress. This is proven by some researches conducted at the University of Zurich in Switzerland. Of the 51 couples who took part in the study, those who had more physical contact had decreased levels of so-called stress hormone cortisol in their saliva. The lead author of the report believes intimacy improve hormones level because it's a mood booster. How exciting, no wonder people who are in love are always happy!! And that's Aaron Rose and Serena Van der Woodsen from the Gossip Girl, aren't they lovely? =)

how could i miss Russell in Malaysia!!

2009-08-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was passing time surfing about russell tonite. To my surprise, I found some photos from his diary on his fanpage from his visit to Malaysia. If only i knew he was in Malaysia, I would kill for a chance to have a picture with him. He's a genius! Read a bit from his "Booky Wook" which is banned in Malaysia unfortunately during my work trip in Perth in May and totally loving it! Too bad its not on sale in Malaysia! It' s weird as if there's no other book in the stores who do not publish x-rated stories. Pretty sure not all publications especially books go through proper scanning for the contents. Saw a book on gay relationship and sex the other day when i was window shopping with one of my mates from UK, Jacob. Is it fair to ban only certain books? I am so getting "My Booky Wook" regardless!!!!! Love you Russell!

A vision on becoming a writer

2009-08-26T03:28:00.000-07:00

Among all the great things that I dream of doing in my life, becoming a writer is one of them. Like today, I had a crazy vision about writing a fiction from the point of view of a dead person. But when i told my best friend, Brendan on msn about my brilliant idea, he said that theres something wrong with the story. Guess what is wrong? It is totally the same view as in Desperate Housewives!! I didn't really watch the show but the fact that the idea was just the same as in the show, that shows the similarity of my thoughts with whoever who write the story, and hence whatever crazy thoughts i have in my mind are not completely useless!